We’d cook meals together, go window shopping, and just enjoy being there for each other. When I didn’t want to go home she’d let me sleep at her place and we’d fall asleep to a show on Netflix, but she’d always fall asleep first. There were so many nights that I just wanted to cave and fall apart but she was always just a phone call away, ready to snap me back to reality. I started creating friendships, something that I had always longed for but never made the time for. It was the most difficult step of all but it set me free in a way that I couldn’t believe. I really started to think about my future and what I wanted for myself and that helped me end a toxic relationship. I went back to eating healthier and started packing lunch. I started going to the gym and began to lose the weight that made me cringe every time I tried on clothes. I made the decision to be happy, truly happy. Everyone always noticed how “positive” I was, even when I knew I wasn’t but no one had to know how depressed I was. All of it seemed like one big pile of negativity but then I took the first step. Doubtful of my career, my future, my finances, my relationships. My life wasn’t where I wanted it to be and I felt doubtful.

Into the start of 2019, I was 40 pounds heavier, was growing distant from my family, had a job that paid the bills but didn’t fulfill me, and was struggling to move on from a relationship that wasn’t going anywhere.

This past year has been a legit roller coaster, with a lot of twists and turns, plus some high points. Goodbye 2019, it’s been a real learning experience!

Goodbye 2019 hello 2019 images